Diana Ross’ Twitter is My New Favourite Thing

Call her Miss Ross – if you find her missing fanny pack.

The great thing about Twitter is that it gives famous people a chance to show their fans a glimpse into their everyday lives, and express their personal thoughts and feelings.  I mean, yeah, Donald Trump’s Twitter is terrible… But Cher’s Twitter is pretty awesome – it’s kind of like if your 71 year-old grandmother was on Twitter… If your Grandmother was a super-progressive, politically active living legend.

Speaking of living legends I love, Diana Ross is also on Twitter.  She isn’t nearly as prolific as Cher, but a recent post from Ms Ross has made me love her even more.

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Let this sink in:

A) Diana Ross wears a fanny pack!

B) Diana Ross shops at Marshalls!

THIS IS AMAZING.  Picture it, if you can: Diana Ross thumbing through racks of off-price sweaters. She sees a cute little cashmere number from Ann Taylor.  Oh, but it’s a V-neck.  She was looking for a crew neck.  Hey, there’s an adorable blouse on that clearance rack!  Oh, it’s Ivanka Trump. Diana Ross moves it to the back of the clearance rack, next to the clear-knee mom jeans.

Diana Ross takes a red sequinned gown that she found in the “gowns only Diana Ross could get away with” section, and goes to the Marshalls fitting room.

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“I got THIS one at Nordstrom Rack!”

Oh, the red gown doesn’t fit.  Diana Ross leaves Marshalls, wondering if the TJ Maxx down the street got a new shipment in today. Diana Ross, oddly enough, doesn’t shop at Ross Dress for Less. That’s a little too “on the nose.”

She gets home, and is craving a Scotch mint.  She always keeps a few in her fanny pack because, you know, she’s 73 year old lady.  But her fanny pack is nowhere to be found!!  Diana Ross is inconsolable – it was a free gift with purchase from when she did that workout video in 1981, and it was the last one she had!

But then some kind soul finds it and returns it to her.  Could you imagine being the person that found that?  You see a well-worn fanny pack in Marshalls, you open it up, and you see DIANA ROSS’ DRIVER’S LICENSE staring back at you!

And Ms Ross was grateful to get her beloved fanny pack back!  Like, two-tweet grateful!

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I mean, if I lost my wallet, I’d be pretty ticked off.  Could you imagine Diana Ross on the phone?

“Hi, this is Diana Ross.  I need to cancel my Discover Card.  I lost my fanny pack at Marshalls….  Yes, THAT Diana Ross….  Yes, a fanny pack…. Last time I used it?  The Saks Off 5th at the Beverly Center.  I found  a wonderful feather boa at a price less than you’d find at department stores.”

It would be a pain.

So, to conclude – Diana Ross, the ultimate diva is also Diana Ross, frugal shopper, fanny pack wearer and grateful human being.

QUEEN!

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“This outfit can hide, like, 15 fanny packs!”

Let Us Now Sing the Praises of Deee-Lite

How do you say, “Deee-Timeless?”

In 1991, when I was a young lad of 15 (and a half), I was still taking the bus to school.  I lived in the country, and it was the only way I could get to school until I received my precious driver’s license the next year.  I did have something that made my bus ride bearable, though – a Discman… Or – more specifically – a Toshiba portable CD player, and a dozen of my favourite CDs.

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You know it’s fancy because it has a base that you could plug it into at home. It didn’t charge the batteries or anything – but hey, it kept the discs from skipping.

And while I had some of 1990’s biggest names (Amy Grant, C+C Music Factory, Black Box), I also had Deee-Lite’s World Clique as part of my selections.

I first heard Deee-Lite (as many kids of the 90s did) at a MuchMusic Video Dance Party – the song, of course, was “Groove Is In The Heart.”  Let’s take a look, shall we?

Now, for a 15 year-old from Brandon, Manitoba, this video was mind-blowing. They looked like they were from the 60s, but also from the future! Those colours!  The cultural diversity! Those shoes (Fluevogs, it turns out)!

After seeing this visual treat, I bought the World Clique CD for $356,651 – or whatever obscene price CDs were in 1990.  (They were expensive, kids.  Ask your parents. We would even RENT them like videotapes.)

Fast-forward to today – the CD is still in my collection, and my iPod has a substantial amount of Deee-Lite on it.  And you know what?  It holds up.  Here’s the thing about Deee-Lite: while they helped define 1990s pop culture, there’s really no other (mainstream) act like quite like them.

I did a quick Google search for the term “Bands Like Deee-Lite” – you know what I got? A bunch of dance-pop acts.  Admittedly, good stuff – a post about the genius of Cathy Dennis is percolating – but I’m sorry, Black Box, C+C Music Factory, and even Ms. Dennis are none of the following:

  • Deee-Liscious
  • Deee-Lovely
  • Deee-Lectible
  • Deee-Vine
  • Deee-Gorgeous
  • Deee-Groovy
  • Deee-Lite.

They were also socially conscious (or, woke, as the kids say) before it was cool.

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Lady Miss Kier’s annotation, not mine.

I’m sure commenters may prove me wrong, but for my money, there has been no other mainstream’ish act quite like Deee-Lite. While they may have influenced performers and musicians like Tove Lo sonically, and influenced fashion trends (I remember being so excited for my bell-bottoms from Le Chateau), I can honestly say that Deee-Lite were (and still are) one-of-a-kind.

They brought a unique mix of disco, funk, psychedelia, trance and just plain fun to pop music – Bootsy Collins, for heaven’s sake – to the world in a time of drum machines (Hey, Technotronic!) and grunge.  And I bet if you play “Groove Is In The Heart” in any crowded room, a substantial portion of the people in that room will groove, sing along, or bust out some dance moves you never knew they had in them.

 

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This is from “Runaway”, the lead single off their amazing album “Infinity Within.”  Recommended.

Although Deee-Lite is no longer together, Lady Miss Kier is performing, DJing, and still being ridiculously fabulous.

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Deee-GORGEOUS!

DJ Towa Tei is still DJing and creating music in his native Japan, with a decidedly Deee-Lite Influence:

…and DJ Dmitri? Ummm… He’s on Facebook.

And although they may not be making new music, their brief time together as a group (1988-1996) created art that influenced many and inspired me (and inspires me to this day).

I highly encourage you to fall down a Deee-Lite Youtube hole. Along with “Groove Is In the Heart,” you’ll find some wonderful quirky, inherently danceable neo-disco grooves.

Thanks, Deee-Lite.

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